Shower Flashback

Feb. 15^th 

Today K.B.’s mother-in-law (BR) and sister-in-law (JH) came over to tea with JH's baby. Also present were my friend Y. and her mother, who happens to be a neighbour of BR’s and JH’s.

I had so wanted to know how BR and JH and her husband were doing, partly because they are lovely people and I have come to genuinely like them, but partly, too, because I know K.B. would want us all to still be in contact. In the last two years, K.B. had made sure that her friends had gotten to know the members of her new family.

I wonder about MayB’s theory that on some very deep level K.B. understood that she didn’t have long on this earth and wanted to make sure that those whom she loved were taken care of. She was the initiator of the connections, that is clear: she gave her children a new family, and she wanted the new family to be surrounded by her circle of friends.

Just before everyone arrived today, though, I nearly had another meltdown. I thought back to when BR and JH had been to my house before (the first time I had met BR). It was K.B.’s shower, May 11^th, 2013. JH and I had collaborated, her organizing the games and providing beautiful floral arrangements in teacups, me inviting people and serving tea and baked treats. JH was just weeks away from giving birth to her son, who would be K.B.’s and Chris’ godson. I felt the tears spring up but I suppressed them. I could hardly be crying when my guests arrived!

I still cannot believe it. The shower was just last May. Last May! That is mere months ago (and yet, enough time for JH’s son to be born and grow into a big baby, strong, interested in everyone, and sporting a tooth). It still feels like the shower just happened.