The Person to Blame for the Long Winter

                           Snow drifts outside our bedroom window, St. John's, Newfoundland, Christmastime

Feb. 26^th 

I seem to be the only person on the planet content to see winter carry on for a while longer, especially in my city where the bitterly cold temperatures set in in November and continue to plague us with no end in sight. This has nothing to do with finally reconciling myself to the realities of winter and accepting that ice, snow, and extreme cold will continue to be forces to be dealt with for at least half of every year of my life.

Nor does it have to do with embracing winter, as B. does. I still haven’t acted on my intentions to pick up snowshoeing or cross-country skiing or even daily walks, no matter how cold it is. I only begrudgingly acknowledge the beauties of winter, such as the snow-covered trees on a sunny day when there is an achingly blue, clear, sky. Learning to love winter will be a lifelong challenge for me.

Nor does it have to do with having been in the Bahamas and feeling refreshed by a holiday south. Much as it was lovely to have basked in the warmth and been able to walk around in summer clothes for a week, it does seem a distant memory now.

I think what it is is that as long as it is winter, it will seem that the time when K.B. was with us was not so far in the past. The last time I saw her, it was December, and it was cold. Once it is spring, it will be the first new season without her. And once it warms up, we will be closer to the painful anniversaries of May (her shower, her and Chris’ wedding) and her birthday in June. I feel like I need time to slow down, and if that means stretching winter out, so be it.